I DID IT. And I kind of blew it. Telling someone what you really feel about them makes me nervous as fuck. I had plans on how and when to tell her, but then, things like her taking a leave or her becoming a hermit can happen. And you wouldn’t have any idea on when she’ll come back. You just had to do something, right? And it kind of pressured me into telling her what I really feel. It was really vague, actually, if you ask me (and her). I was actually in the mood tell her after seeing that she’ll be gone for quite a while. What a move, Kobe Bryant.

I wanted to explain, but it was so last minute. I wouldn’t turn this confession thing into a dramathon or shit but then, at least, I wanted to explain how I felt. But then, I’ll just tell you guys about it.

I’ve known her ever since my friend Belinda (who is MIA, as we speak) reblogs her stuff and all. I started following her because she posts awesome and relevant stuff. Then she started following me, too. Quite courteous. It really was. I mean, she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to but whatever, man. Then, she deleted her blog so she could start from the beginning again. Clean slate and all. I thought she left the intarwebs (I’m such a geek) for eternity, so, it got me thinking. She made a new one and then she followed me with it. It lifted my self-esteem. It really did. I did, too. And then boring stuff goes here.

Someone asked me on formspring about my blogosphere crush. Interesting query. It really was. So, I thought about it and I thought that I really had no crush on someone online ‘til I saw one of her posts. And I really paid attention to her posts. Then, I got myself hooked to her stuff. No, not that ‘stuff’, you pervert. She posts the most interesting things in my dashboard, that is mostly OC (original content). She can draw like a madman. I’m not kidding. Then, I saw her photos. I fell even harder. She has everything. Complete package, and I found her really appealing. And her personality is just grand. I mean, you couldn’t find anyone like her. Well, of course you can’t because everyone is unique and shit but then, she’s like the better kind of unique, if that even makes any sense.

The admitting part started it all. Everything she does turns into magic. I started thinking about her, most of the time. I even stalked (lolwut) some of her deets just because I can’t get enough of her. Well, she just knew that she was just an online crush or something but it’s actually more than that. I’m in-like with her. Love seems to be a big word. I can’t really say that I am in-love because I haven’t even seen her in person yet, although I had close encounters. I really had (see previous posts). Anyway, the way I admitted to her that she was more than just an online crush was pretty lame. Seriously, you would’ve slammed your head onto your desk 88 times. I mean, I could’ve given her flowers or chocolates or a fucking puppy after meeting her and confessing but then, if you think about it, how can you give something awesome to a person who has everything? I would’ve gotten overboard with the cheeziness, like I always do but I could always add some lulz, when in the mood. But seriously, straight to the point, man. I’m in-like with her, and I haven’t even met her yet. Creepy shit, ain’t it? Well, fuck you man. Haha.

I wouldn’t want to expect anything cool after that stunt I did and shit. I meant what I said. I really did. But sometimes, I think. I try not to think too much, it gets you worried and all. I’ll just see what happens after and stuff. Quite excited. I hope I didn’t scare or creep her out after confessing. Man, it would’ve been depressing if she was creeped out. Fuck man, I am creepy, if you think about it. Don’t ask me if I have plans on courting her or not. I have no idea, really. Quite hard to pull it off, since I don’t know the ‘standards’ of a basic boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. It depresses me by just thinking about it. It really does.

tl;dr I am in-like with someone. And this feeling ain’t going away for quite sometime, I guess. I’m not kidding.